Deeply Disturbed

I know I have been MIA from my blog, but I promise I will try to update more. I have just been so busy "moving in" that it's hard to find the time to do anything. Tonight I am feeling a little under the weather (probably thanks to the winter winds we had on this "spring" day), so I decided to drink a cup of Theraflu and curl up on the couch and watch Intervention so I don't wake the husband up (unlike me, he has to wake up early to go to work).

So that brings me to the reason for this blog....I am so deeply disturbed watching this show. I cannot wrap my brain around what goes on in an addict"s mind. I had my moments when I was younger of getting into trouble and doing things I am not so proud of now, but I grew up and I moved on with my life. I became a responsible adult that didn't "depend" on a substance (whether it be alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, meth or even cigarettes) to get me through the day. How do people get to that point?? I have always been a firm believer that a person can do anything they put their mind to and hand over to God. I can say this because I have lived it. I will take this time to tell you guys a little bit of my story...I went through some really rough times as a teenager. I quickly went from being a straight "A" student (really...I only got one B in 4th grade and I thought the world was going to come crashing down) to a barely making it student. I graduated high school with around a 2.5 when I should have (and easily could have) had a 4.0. Granted, I was still smart enough to graduate a year early even with all of my problems. So...I decided to take some time off of college (bad idea) and just work and enjoy my life. Well, "enjoying" my life got me into too much trouble, and landed me in the hospital one night. I shouldn't have made it out of the hospital night. I should have been dead...or at least that was the plan...my plan. *Keep in mind this was a looooong time ago....even years before I met Chad.* So now, I said that was my plan, but someone had a different plan for me and decided to give me another chance. Apparently, He believed in me enough to reach out and take my hand....I haven't let go since.

After this incident I needed answers....I needed to know why everything was happening in my life the way that it was. Why was this all happening to me? Why was I feeling so down and depressed about things?? I turned to God for these answers and my answer came pretty quickly. Once I started to pray and go to church and truly seek God and let him take over my life, I became happy. I wasn't depressed anymore, I started living my life right, and I felt so good... I changed in so many ways, and I believe that without God I would not be the person I am today....and I kinda like me. :o)

So anyway, my whole point to this story is that if people...addicts....would just look up every once in a while, they would realize that they can quit. I don't like using the word addict because my belief in God is so great that I almost don't believe in that word. I don't believe that a person can be so addicted to something that they cannot stop. They can stop...they just need someone to hold their hand like He held mine.

I hope that I can help at least one person out with this post...if you would like to know more, don't be scared to ask. I am an open book...

It's time for bed now. Good night...