Confession

So, I'm a little obsessed. I have come to terms with it and will not deny it. I am overly obsessed....with my little girl. I am that mom that talks non stop about her baby. The one that will give up everything she has so that my baby can have everything she needs (and wants). I can't help it. I never thought that so much love could come from something so tiny...she is just so amazing. She got her kitchen in today, and after Chad and I put it together, she played with that thing forever. She was so happy and her face when she first saw it brought me so much joy. She couldn't even wait until it was all put together to start playing with it. I am sure that right now at her age, it is just another toy to her, but I know that in a year or two she is going to appreciate that little kitchen so much more. I would have died to have a kitchen like that when I was little. I didn't have much when I was a kid, especially when we first moved to the US, because my parents didn't speak much English and it was hard for them to get jobs that paid enough to support five people (three kids). We never went without, but we also didn't have much. I can't say that I was an unhappy child or that I had a bad childhood, because the truth is so far from that. My mom and dad raised us with so much love and made sure we had everything we "needed", that I never really missed not having some of the toys I would have wanted. But when I think back, I can remember a few times that I saw some toys that the kids had at the houses my mom would go clean, and thinking how cool it would be if I had toys like that to play with. I had such a great imagination that I made do with what we had and even made my own toys. I remember making cameras for myself and some of the smaller kids in my neighborhood out of cardboard boxes, and walking my "imaginary dog" with a leash and collar I made out of wire clothes hangers. These are all happy memories for me. I don't know if I ever complained about not having the toys I wanted, but I don't think I did, or at least I hope I didn't, and if I did, I owe my parents a huge apology, because I don't have any "bad" childhood memories about not being as wealthy as some of the other kids I went to school with. I can't complain. My parents loved me so much and showed it every day. I had both of them to kiss me good night every night, and I had everything in life that I "needed". What I'm getting at is that I don't wish in any way that my childhood would have been different. My parents gave me what they could afford and I never went without the true necessities. They taught me how hard work pays off and made me want to work hard so that I could be successful in life. However, I want Natalie to have everything I would have wanted as a little kid. I want to see her face light up when she gets her first dollhouse, or her first bike (I remember how happy I was when I got my first bike). I still want her to make cameras out of cardboard boxes and have the imagination to make anything out of "trash", but I want her to have those things that I always looked at and wished I could have had. I don't mind giving up the things I want to give her all that she wants (to an extent). I want to spoil her, but I also want her to hear the word "no" and know that she can't always have EVERYTHING she wants, and as she gets older I want her to learn how important it is to work hard and get a good education so that she can achieve any dream or goal she has in life. But I also want her to know that "mami and papi" will never outgrow wanting to give her the world. My parents never outgrew it.
I can't wait until she is old enough to be able to tell her all this and to start teaching her everything about life and how important it is to know God and love Him, and teach her how to wash the dishes and cook and do laundry so that one day when she is married she can be a good wife to her husband, and talk to her about respect for herself and others. There is soooo much I can't wait to teach her. I want to raise her to be a lady, and know how to pick her battles. My head is hurting now from thinking of all the things I want her to know and learn. I hope that God keeps me around here long enough to be able to do it all. I know two things she will know for sure...God and love. Two things that are so visible in our home and what our family is built on. I hope that from seeing her daddy and I and the love we have for each other and God, she will know how beautiful those two things are.
So there you have it, I am totally obsessed. Obsessed and in love with the beautiful little blessing that was given to Chad and I 18 months ago. She is mommy's little girl and daddy's little princess, and I hope she never outgrows those titles....